You all need help, and the Sea Fury is the medicine

Ladies, gentlemen…camel.

First off I’m not judging you at all when I say this and I’m proud of you all no matter what life choices you make even when they’re blatantly the wrong ones. But frankly some of your aircraft choices are concerning.

Some of you have been flying Mustangs and 109’s which I thought were bad enough, but lately I’ve even seen some of you turnfighting… in Ki-84’s. Now I’m happy to keep that secret between us but it will eventually get out and the outside world isn’t as accepting as I am.

You all need a testosterone boost, even the one female pilot we may have somewhere. We need something to make your father’s proud of you again. I prescribe the Sea Fury. This plane (along with the Hornet) will put hairs in places you never knew you had, you’ll eat metal shavings for breakfast and fart thunder.

Ki-84 gets on your tail? Open throttle and leave him behind. Then reverse and murder him.
109 gets on your tail? Open throttle and leave him behind. Then reverse and murder him.
190? Hah! Don’t make me laugh…

Turn fighting is for wusses! Climb, dive, murder… just be careful as it dives to 500mph like a rocket and will try to murder you. Stay fast and you’re more or less invincible.

Even Gaijin wants you to fly the Sea Fury as it’s one of the only aircraft with all of its gauges working correctly…

Put your aeroplane keys down, you know which ones I mean the ones with the pink fluffy dice…the Ki-84 can wait. Grab a Sea Fury, get yourself to around 15,000ft and go wash away your shame. This also goes to the Corsair pilots who I know are applying their eyeliner as they read this.


LMAO! This is actually hilarious!!! I was dyeing reading this!

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Which it does quite well, and there isn’t much you can do in a Sea Fury if it plays its cards right.

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Somebody beat this man with a stick!

There isn’t much a Ki-84 can do if a Sea Fury plays its card right you mean, that Ki-84 uses a Honda Civic engine compared to the Sea Fury, except V-TEC doesn’t ever kick in and unlike a Civic you’re built out of tissue. Unlike a Sea Fury which has a raging throbbing Centaurus.

Ki-84 gets on your tail? Shallow dive and watch him disappear, or just fly in a straight line.

The question is what will the glorified moped with wings do once the Sea Fury is diving on it! Will the pilot have enough time to evade once they’re done applying their lipstick. I highly doubt it, a good finish takes time! Or… so I’ve heard.


And then he can just climb away on your six, which you can’t do anything about. You go fast and that’s it. The Centaurus may be a good engine but it is put in a brick of an airframe.

The better question is, what will the glorified GROUND ATTACKER do when the Ki-84 shows up within 1km of it, with equal energy? You’re well within gun range at that point and all he has to do is get close.

The way you argue your points is amazing! 😂

Is this how we keep the arguments from getting too serious and out of pocket 😂

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Or just fly the Kikka in a 6.7 max. Bracket.

Just rip through the skies with 850kph, enjoy the view while never looking back and use the force to hit with “the stick”

But you just encouraged me to start the British TT 👍

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This is one of the funniest posts ever put on the forums. I was cackling like a godblin reading this.

Yeah it’s me. Guilty.

Stop calling me out lmao

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I haven’t tried your medicine yet, but from my personal experience I would correct your text like this:

You all need help, and the Tempest is the medicine.

The rest of the text is correct.


What part of torqueless limp wristed V-TEC engine is it you don’t understand? You aren’t getting close, and the Sea Fury would only have a no-knackersjima behind it that close because the pilot felt sorry for you.

Due to the gravitational forces on the Sea Fury pilot’s enormous genitals creating a pendulum effect it can also exploit its rapid roll rate to get away or get in an advantageous position, which is every position the Sea Fury is in. But especially at high speed.

“Glorified ground attacker” He says, because deep down he knows his Frank doesn’t even lift. Your Frank isn’t even qualified to hold the Sea Fury’s towel at the gym. It’s the little skinny kid that aspires to be as powerful as the Sea Fury, Hornet or even the Tempests but just goes home to watch Japanese cartoons and cry into its schoolgirl pillow.

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what if i specificly dont want that

Also the way this is writen is amazing

it works quite well although i do like my top tier hell better

It isn’t arguing Billybob it’s charity that I’m passing on to the sick and the protein deficient.

The Kikka?

Oh that’s right sorry I forgot, you see when I think of fast moving Japanese flying objects usually they smash into warships… you know when they don’t totally miss the gigantic floating fortresses and somehow smash into the sea instead.

Can’t blame them, they might’ve flown Ki-84’s before and needed to wash the nasty taste out of their mouths.

You see for just mentioning you were going to start the only tech tree in the game you’re already less repulsive to the opposite sex.

I’ll stop doing it when you learn. Why on earth are you flying that creature anyways? The naval aircraft that was afraid of landing on boats… it’s like the aeroplane equivalent of someone who is lactose intolerant. “I need milk for strong bones but it gives me the green apple splatters” “I’m here to land on a big boat but even thinking of it makes me swoon and drown”.

Take the Sea Fury and I guarantee you the very next day you look in the mirror you’ll be greeted by a moustache so proud Nigel Mansell will smile upon you.

The Tempest is a most acceptable aircraft with a jawline to make David Coulthard blush. But the Sea Fury is a literally stronger beast to land on big f-off boats.

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lol ight. Whatever the doctor says

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Even that limp wristed VTEC can get a Hayate up to altitude faster than the GLORIFIED GROUND ATTACKER can. Yeah the Ki-84 isn’t getting close because it is peacefully cruising 2km above your misaligned teeth and sleeve valves, watching the rising sun in the horizon.

It has been blessed by the emperor, and its shots shall fly true right into your engineering-dead-end sleeve valves.
How dare you compare the inbred Tempests with their horrendous chin radiators to the clean and sleek creation of Subaru, Formerly Nakajima!

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You sir are a comedian and a good one at that!

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pahahahahaha these one made me laugh

please tell that to the Gripen/F-16 pilots

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What’s that? I can’t hear you over the sound of my sleeve valves giving me 2480hp propelling this “ground attacker” to 450mph which last I checked was faster than your “sleek” (flimsy) paper aeroplane, and that statistic is after you borrowed fuel from those twisted lunatics that microwave tea. You couldn’t even crack 400mph with your own fuel!

Granted we felt sorry for our uneducated extended family friends across the sea and gave them money for things (they had money troubles a while back and threw themselves out of buildings, they’re quite unstable) but only to prove we could make better things than them. We even made a sub machine gun out of paper mache and old lamp posts that was better.

Ah! No surprise the Ki-84 is a Subaru, it isn’t a boxer engine in there is it, how many replacements has it had, how’s the rust?

Even Saburo Sakai noted how poorly made Nakajima aircraft were and he flew a plane with the fire resistant capabilities of a skunks underpants. Its structural integrity is so low it could parachute out of a snake’s arsehole.

Also big jaws and burly frames are what women want, the Ki-84 looks like it could sing in Eurovision.


Well it can’t be the same Subaru, the Hayate actually looks good unlike whatever the hell they’re making now…

On 130 octane fuel, that is. The Homare was tuned for 92 octane and pushed out 2000hp. One can only IMAGINE what it would achieve with that high octane gas, and even then it had nearly 20L less displacement! The Centaurus is almost as bad as Cadillac engineers somehow making 130hp out of a 7.2L engine in the 70s.


He was a Navy pilot, of course he hated the barbarians in the Army (which had a preference for Nakajima)! The hatred between Army and Navy was legendary, almost as much as my hatred for the crooked teeth and poor looks of british aircraft.

This is the same image.


You lost me when you said we might have a female pilot. I knew it was all parody after that…

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@Lieutenant_Camel you’ve been summoned.

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