Bob Semple Tank - Wrath Incarnate

[Would you like to see this in-game?]
  • Yay :)
  • Nay :(
0 voters

G’day lads, I’ve seen that even though it’s 2024, there are still zero ground vehicles from the Kiwis (aka the inhabitants of New Zealand), so here I am suggesting the most powerful armoured vehicle the Kiwis have to offer, the Bob Semple tank!

Description:

Spoiler

The Bob Semple tank is the all mighty and brilliant tank made by the Kiwis during desperate times. Named after Bob Semple, the Minister of Works at the time, this tank was an improvised solution to the pressing need for armored vehicles in the face of potential invasion from enemies like the Japanese. What they have made is possibly the greatest WW2, if not the greatest tank of all time from just a few materials.

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History:

Spoiler

New Zealand had to come up with innovative solutions to bolster its defenses. The Bob Semple tank was one such solution, conceived by Bob Semple, the Minister of Works, and built using a Caterpillar D8 tractor as its base.

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The idea behind the Bob Semple tank was to create an armored vehicle using materials that were readily available in New Zealand. The tank was constructed from corrugated iron mounted on the tractor chassis, a design choice driven by necessity rather than optimal military engineering. This makeshift approach reflected the dire circumstances and the urgent need for defensive measures.

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Despite its unconventional design and numerous flaws, the Bob Semple tank shows that desperate times call desperate measures. The tank was equipped with multiple Bren light machine guns, but its performance was hampered by its heavy weight, slow speed, and inadequate armor. These limitations meant that the tank was never mass-produced or used in combat.

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An interesting aspect of the Bob Semple tank’s history is the proposal to equip it with a 37mm gun, the same one found on the Stuart light tank. This proposal aimed to enhance the tank’s firepower, making it more effective in combat situations. However, this upgrade was never implemented, and the tank remained armed with only machine guns.

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Armaments:

Spoiler

The Bob Semple tank was armed with six .303 caliber Bren light machine guns, each supplied with 25,000 rounds. The machine guns were “strategically placed” with one in the turret, one at the rear, one on each side, and two facing forward. Additionally, as i previously mentioned, there was a proposal to equip the tank with a 37mm cannon, which would have been accompanied by five machine guns, but this upgrade was never implemented.

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Specifications:

Spoiler

The Bob Semple tank had dimensions of 4.2 meters in length, 3.30 meters in width, and 3.65 meters in height. Its total weight when battle-ready was approximately 18 tons, which included 2 tons of armor plating. The tank typically had a crew of six members, consisting of a commander, driver, and four machine gunners, but it could carry up to eight personnel in total. It was powered by a 6-cylinder Caterpillar diesel engine that produced 95 kW (127 hp), with other sources citing 108 hp (flywheel) and 96 hp (drawbar). The tank could climb gradients of 1 in 2, ford water up to 1.22 meters deep, and overcome embankments up to 1.37 meters high. It was capable of crushing saplings up to 6 inches in diameter and was fitted with a drawbar for towing light field guns or an armored trailer. The armor consisted of 0.5 inch (12.7 mm) manganese steel in a V-corrugated form, backed by 0.31 inch (8 mm) steel plate. The tank had a normal speed of 7.5 mph, with a reduced speed of 1.5 mph using a 2:1 gearbox, and a range of up to 160 km with 60 hours of operational time. It held 90 liters of diesel in two frontal fuel tanks and featured a modified and lengthened RD8 Caterpillar suspension from 1939.

Sources:

Spoiler

https://tanks-encyclopedia.com/ww2/NewZealand/Bob_Semple_Tank.php

Bob Semple tank - Wikipedia

A Place to Live and Work: The Henry Disston Saw Works and the Tacony ... - Google Books

https://www.warhistoryonline.com/military-vehicle-news/the-bob-semple-tank-one-of-the-most-ridiculous-tank-designs-ever.html

10 Likes

+1 Kiwi stuff is also welcome, no matter how memey it will be.

1 Like

sure, at -1.0 BR

8 Likes

Should be a special event vehicle where both sides have nothing but Semples and ankle bite each other to death.
Get high enough in the score ranking and you get to have a useless ornament cluttering your tech tree, like the “night witch” event. In fact, it could be a new Halloween event, since the thing looks like a haunted house on tracks anyway. lol.

5 Likes

for the interwar gamemode only, but definitely a YAY :)

2 Likes

Even the Mighty Maus fear the monster know as BOB SEMPLE!!!

1 Like

Unless the machine guns could somehow all get good elevation and fire across much of the same arcs so it could operate as a 1.0 SPAA, I’d have to say no to this one lol.

+1 if the variant with the 37mm is added, would be fun and viable. Any info on the 37mm?

3 Likes

Its the same one found on the Stuart, so it can most likely fire the same shells.

4 Likes

Oh, so actually a very good gun!

2 Likes

10,000,000,000% YES, this gets my absolute +1!

1 Like

Add a 380mm canon in it

1 Like

Idk why +1, it’s just a cute tank

1 Like

I would love to see the 37 mm variant in-game, if not at least be part of an event around Bob Semple and other vehicles similar to it where only small-caliber MGs are available.

3 Likes

Might be able to penetrate WW1 tanks at point blank range. Lol.

1 Like

The 37mm version would be perfect for the “Dreams Come True” event since every vehicle added through that event is unhistorical or unfinished in some way. Easy +1

2 Likes

there are man vehicles that should not be added to the game just from the point of sheer impracticality but this one has sheer meme status that deserves it being added as a reward for reaching level 100

1 Like

Hell yeah. +1

4 Likes

Yes an Alien life will fear the bob semple for he is so semple they can not understand the power of the semple

1 Like

For an april fools event vehicle yes. Otherwise it couldn’t do much in the game.