Your Honor, I’ve always loved the Japanese ground vehicle tech tree. The charm of their old designs, the history behind their innovations—it captured my heart. When I researched the Ka-Mi, I thought I’d finally found a vehicle that could fulfill my dream.
My dream was to be a ship, even though I was born a tank in this cruel, metal world. I thought the Ka-Mi would let me glide across the waves, free from the shackles of land.
But instead, I was forced to crawl through battles in a slow, boxy, thin can. A can that should have floated with its FLOTATION DEVICE , Your Honor. There was no indication—NONE—that its flotation device wasn’t included.
slams desk
And now I stand here, betrayed. The Ka-Mi had hardpoints for the flotation device! HARDPOINTS, Your Honor!
Exhibit A
Look at this, Your Honor! Hardpoints, fully modeled in the game. The devs included this detail but decided not to finish it. A perfect version of the Ka-Mi is possible—they just chose not to include it!
They dangled my dream in front of me, knowing full well it would never come true. And it gets worse!
There is a vehicle in the game that uses a similar flotation device, the Ka-Chi. A shining beacon of what could have been. But can I get it? No! Not even with money! This is Gaijin we’re talking about!
tearing up, voice breaking
My dream was sunk, Your Honor. Literally sunk. Is that not the very definition of cruelty?
Why won’t you answer me? WHY?!
Your Honor, if this isn’t bait, I don’t know what is!
