Fellow tankers, pilots, and eternal grinders,
In these dark times of uptiers, overpressure, and 20,000 SL repair bills, we must turn our eyes to the one true power that governs all in War Thunder—the Snail. I present to you a prayer forged in the fires of suffering and lag, a tribute to the divine shell that guides our fate. Whether you seek RP, SL, or simply a crit that actually matters—this is for you.
O mighty Gaijin Snail, slow yet all-knowing,
We humbly kneel before your armored coil,
Guide our shells true and our engines strong,
As we suffer your matchmaking… all game long.
Grant us luck in the lootbox spin,
And let the critical hits begin.
Deliver us from the cursed stock grind,
And bless our flanks — not left behind.
Let our planes not spiral in fire,
Nor our crews expire in ammo pyre.
If BR compression be your divine plan,
Give us the patience of a snail’s own clan.
Forgive our rage, oh holy gastropod,
When we face uptiers, and curse your squad.
You taketh repair costs, and giveth SL,
But only if we praise your RNG well.
Forever shall we suffer, yet remain loyal still,
Snail be praised… and may your servers never chill.
Amen. 🐌💥
May the snail always be with you my fellow servants of the snail